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Monday, May 7, 2018

GARDEN & GUN



So there I was at Pumpelli's Tire and Auto Repair 

waiting for the kind mechanics to replace my dead alternator.





I looked across at the man waiting for his own repairs 

and saw him reading a glossy magazine that looked like BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS.

The name of the magazine suddenly hit me: 


I was intrigued.  

What kind of articles would such a magazine have?  

I started making up its table of contents to pass the time:


SHOT INTRUDERS MAKE 
THE BEST MULCH

PIRANHAS NOT OVER-THE-TOP 
FOR YOUR FOUNTAIN

MINED BACKYARD:
 PERFECT TILLING 
FOR YOUR VEGETABLE GARDEN

HIDE THOSE PESKY 
IMPROMPTU GRAVES 
WITH ROSE BUSHES

BE A CONSIDERATE NEIGHBOR; 
USE SILENCERS 
FOR LATE NIGHT BURGLARS 

The real articles, of course, were much different!

Garden & Gun is a magazine
about the sporting culture, 
food, music, art, 
and travel 
of the Southern United States.

I think the names
of my articles
sound more interesting!

WHAT FUN ARTICLES
CAN YOU COME UP WITH? 

2 comments:

  1. Funny!
    Around here, if they could plant and grow their own deer, hunters would be very excited.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It would give the term "crop dusting" a whole new meaning, right! :-)

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